Day 39 (of 2026/27) #movember look at “men without friends”
I’ve seen this article/audio a few times leading into November:
‘My Husband Has No Friends’ — New York Magazine
Or here: https://www.pressreader.com/usa/new-york-magazine/20260914/282200837814534
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Interesting…
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I’ve always liked working with people around the idea of “friends”
Especially ‘best friends’
Some of my early years had regular conversations
That best did not mean “one”
But described a friend…
One was very reluctant…
Best = one and that was that…
Took some time
And some reflection
As friendships
Ebb and flow…
Mature and disappear
End too soon
Don’t end soon enough.
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This article points out a cultural flaw
That our youth have also had built into their culture…
‘The playdate’
Scheduled time
Arranged relationships
54 percent of women say they turn to a friend for emotional support but only 38 percent of men say they do (that’s the #movember connection)
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Friendship cannot simply be scheduled.
Neither for kids nor adults
It’s also why when people get frustrated about people turning to their devices
I prefer to dive deeper into THAT why
Rather than trying to ban the device and expect something different.
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When we are used to coordinators establishing relationships…
Why are we surprised when it doesn’t just ‘naturally happen later’…
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Friendship requires maintenance
Not management
Not someone else arranging them
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We need to practice and allow efforts at friendships
And time
And sometimes…
Being the one who reaches out first
(Especially when older and an old friend becomes a ‘late friend’…)
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Perhaps we’ve become a little too comfortable
With the idea that friendship just happens.
That someone else will organize it.
That someone else will check in.
That someone else will notice when we’re missing.
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But here’s my #Movember thought…
Men need to get better at being friends.
Not just husbands.
Not just fathers.
Not just colleagues.
Friends.
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But not just men. EVERY PERSON…
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We need to normalize checking in on each other.
Asking how things are REALLY going.
Making time.
Having conversations that go beyond work, sports, weather and the latest Netflix series.
And being comfortable enough to say:
“I’m not doing particularly well.”
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Because having someone to call
Shouldn’t be a luxury.
And being someone’s best friend
Shouldn’t require being their only friend.
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Maybe the best thing we can do for men’s health this November
Is remind ourselves that friendship
Isn’t something we outgrow.
It’s something we need to keep growing.
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#Movember
#MensHealth
#FriendshipMatters
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